Skip to content

The writing desk

Make sense of
what feels familiar.

Essays and practical perspectives on the emotional lives of gay men. Identity, connection, sex, and the patterns underneath.

A place to start

Three perspectives.

Why more friends won’t fix gay loneliness

Minority stress in gay men

Grindr, compulsion and what’s underneath

26 articles

Why More Friends Won’t Fix Gay Loneliness

Minority Stress in Gay Men: What It Actually Does to a Nervous System

Emotional life 03

Grindr Addiction in Gay Men: Compulsive App Use and What It’s Really About

Aging Gay Men: Identity, Visibility, and the Psychology of Growing Older

Anxiety in Gay Men: Hypervigilance, Minority Stress, and What Actually Helps

Emotional life 06

Chemsex Therapy for Gay Men: Substance Use, Sex, and the Psychology Behind It

Coming Out: The Ongoing Psychology of a Process That Doesn’t End

Conversion Therapy: What It Is, How It Harms, and Why It Doesn’t Work

Emotional Dependence in Gay Men: Why It Happens and What It Looks Like

Gay Loneliness: Why It Persists and What Actually Helps

Gay Male Friendships: Why So Many Gay Men Struggle to Build Real Ones

Gay Men and Body Image: The Specific Psychology of How We See Ourselves

Gay Men and Relationships: Intimacy, Attachment, and the Fear of Being Known

Gay Shame: What It Is, How It Differs from Guilt, and Why It Persists

Gay dating and why it’s hard.

Infidelity in Gay Relationships: An Attachment Problem, Not a Morality Problem

Internalised Homophobia in Gay Men: What It Is, How It Shows Up, and How Therapy Helps

Journaling Prompts for Gay Men: 50 Questions Designed to Open Things Up

Emotional life 19

LGBTQ Trauma in Gay Men: What Was Carried Out of Childhood

Emotional life 20

Open relationships in gay men.

Sex anxiety in gay men.

Emotional life 22

The Father Wound in Gay Men: How Absent Fathers Shape Adult Psychology

The Velvet Rage: Alan Downs’s Framework, What It Got Right, and Its Limits

Toxic Relationships in Gay Men: What the Clinical Pattern Actually Looks Like

What Is Sexuality? Understanding Sexual Orientation and How It Forms

Why Am I Gay? The Psychology Behind a Question Rooted in Shame

You can begin
where you are.

Find your starting point