Online individual therapy for gay men
Therapy for dating and relationships
You can spend days thinking about someone who barely replies, then lose interest in a man who makes time for you. Or you might have a partner you love and still go quiet whenever something hurts. By the time you know what you wanted to say, he’s under the impression you’ve sorted it out.
I work individually with gay men who want to understand what keeps happening when they get close to someone. You might be dating, trying to work out what you want from a relationship you’re already in, or missing someone you chose to leave. You can come on your own, even if your partner sees things differently.
Online, one-to-one, in English · First session: 60 minutes, €135 · Check where I offer therapy
Working with me
When someone you like starts making plans
Imagine a man you’ve been seeing asks if you’d like to go away together. Last week you’d have said yes. Now you’re looking for reasons to put it off. I’d be curious about what changed when he asked. Had you been enjoying the uncertainty? Did the invitation feel like a promise you weren’t ready to make? Or had you realised, quite reasonably, that a weekend with him didn’t appeal?
Those answers lead to different conversations. We can stay with what happened between the two of you before deciding it says something about how you approach every relationship.
When the argument is over but you’re still hurt
Sometimes the difficult moment comes after you’ve said, “It’s fine.” Your partner takes you at your word. You’re left wishing he’d ask again. In a session I might ask, “What would you have liked him to understand that he couldn’t have known from what you said?”
That can matter when you’re discussing an open relationship, too. You might be happy with the agreement and hurt that he cancelled your Friday together to see someone else. We can give that disappointment its due without assuming you want to change the whole arrangement.
Your question
Can I come if I’m unsure whether to stay?
Yes. You can talk about what keeps you there, what you miss and what you’re tired of asking for. You don’t have to settle the question before you book.
More questions
Why do I keep falling for emotionally unavailable men?
Often because distance feels familiar, and familiar can feel like chemistry. A man who keeps you guessing can also spare you the exposure of being fully known. There’s no single explanation. In therapy we work out what the pattern does for you, so it becomes easier to notice the pull and choose differently.
Is it worth seeing a gay therapist for relationship problems?
It can save time. You won’t need to explain open relationships, dating apps or what being out has meant for your relationships before we get to the part that matters to you. I’m gay, and I’ve worked with gay men for more than ten years.
Can therapy help after a breakup?
Yes. Breakup grief can last longer than friends expect, especially if the relationship was your first long one, or ended without much explanation. Therapy gives you a place to grieve it and to understand what you want next.
How long does therapy for relationship patterns take?
It varies. Therapy is open-ended, with no minimum commitment. Some men come for a few months around a specific decision. Others stay longer to work on a pattern that has repeated for years. We review it together as we go.
Booking
Your first
session.
- First session: 60 minutes, €135, paid when you book
- Ongoing sessions: 50 minutes, €135, or £115 in the UK, billed monthly
- Usually weekly, with no package commitment
Payment is non-refundable and cancelling needs 72 hours’ notice. Full terms.